How to Act Around Black People
(A Guide to Black American Culture & Mannerisms)
WELCOME!
I’m so glad that you’re interested in learning about Black American culture! I hope you have fun while learning about our side of America!
America is a global superpower and home to a wide variety of ethnic groups, including Black people. We are the third largest ethnic group here. No doubt, you will eventually interact with a Black American so it’s best to familiarize yourself with the basics of Black culture and mannerisms to avoid accidently insulting anyone.
In this guide, I’m going to list the things you need to know in order to not offend us and by the end of the guide, you will know all of the secrets to being accepted into Black social groups. It’s in your best interest to follow this guide (in public and in private) because the things you do in the past has the potential to affect your personal life and career well into the future.
Some of the positive benefits to having a healthy relationship with the Black community are:
| 1. AN EXPANDED NETWORK | Black people are working in fields that we never worked in before. Interacting in a non-offensive way will help you build solid relationships with Black people, thus expanding the potential of your network. |
| 2. NEW OPPORTUNITIES | When you are trusted to not offend the Black people, you have a better chance of receiving opportunities to work in places that are diverse. |
| 3. COMMUNITY SUPPORT | Eventually, Black people may become close friends with you or your brand. In the event of a heated protest, you will feel better knowing that you made a good impression. |
4. INSIGHTS | As you understand what we find offensive, you will be able to identify potentially offensive ideas. Consider how many people have lost their jobs by doing something racially insensitive. That demonstrates one of the primary reasons to learn how to act around Black people. |
The way you act around us will be based upon your intentions and your intentions are very important to us, which is why the first step is to identify it:
IDENTIFY YOUR INTENTIONS
When you have a clear goal, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed. So, if you don’t already have it figured out, take some time to pinpoint the reason why you want to learn how to act with Black people. What type of relationship are interested in? Do you want to be an:
- ALLY- You love Black culture so much that you want to be around it and help support our communities.
- FRIEND- You would like to have some Black friends or maybe you already have a few.
- ACQUAINTANCE- You are a tourist, have social anxiety, have Black co-workers, neighbors, or simply want to seem cool.
- DONOR– There are things stopping you from being more active but you still want to help in a meaningful way.
GREETINGS
“Dapping” is a handshake-like gesture that you make as a greeting. It’s most popular in casual settings. It consists of a series of complex hand slaps and fist bumps that can be used for hi or bye. There are also simple ways to dap. The easiest is the fist bump or pound. I prefer it because it’s so easy and discourages the spread of germs.
The “Black head nod” is a gesture you make, usually when initially noticing someone, to acknowledge their presence. It’s similar to saying hi and consists of an upward nod of the head. You can observe Black people nod at each other in places that are not predominately Black, in a spirit of solidarity or kinship (we are like a big family).
Whatever your preferred greeting is, please do so, it will make us feel more at ease around you because we don’t know if you’re a racist or not.
AFRICAN AMERICAN ENGLISH
African American Vernacular English (AAVE) or Ebonics is not something you should learn like other languages. It consists of grammatical forms that are not found in standard English. If you are not a native speaker of AAVE but start to speak it, it will come across as cultural appropriation. Some examples of AAVE are:
“I been at the crib for a hot minute” = I have been at the house for a very long time.
“I’ma go to the store” = I will go to the store.
“I’m finna cop some food” = I’m going to get some food.
“Yo! Why you stay ashy?” = Hey! Why is your skin always dry?
Some AAVE (like “what’s up?” or being “woke”) is ingrained into basic American culture so it will not come off as appropriation if you say it.
Learning basic AAVE will help you to not be confused when hearing us speak in predominately Black areas. Like, If someone calls you “G”, “bro”, “sis”, or “dog”, it’s just another way of calling you friend or a neutral term.
Most importantly, no matter how many times you hear the word “nigga”, I advise you to avoid all forms of it if you are not, at least, 50% Black. It is a highly offensive term. Of course, no one can force you to not use the word but, if you choose to, you use it at your own risk.
Now, before we get too deep into the guide, you must understand when it’s appropriate to use AAVE and greetings. That brings us to the next topic:
CODE SWITCHING
Most people behave one way in a professional setting and a different way in casual settings. This is especially true with Black people because we have adapted to the dominant White professional standards in order to survive. But once we are back in a more relaxed setting, we go back to our normal way of being or “code switch”. So, you might use AAVE and our greetings when you see us out in public but don’t do it when you see us at work. It’s considered unprofessional.
It’s also important to note that if you are in a place with a variety of people, DO NOT change your mannerisms solely when speaking to us. Continue speaking to us like you were with everyone else. If not, it will come across as rude. Though we understand AAVE and how to dap, you will make us feel singled out, different and awkward. No doubt we will soon leave or talk about how crazy you were later.
The best time for you to “code switch” is when you are in a predominately Black setting. You will know when its acceptable to do because everyone else will be doing it. This is when we are in our most relaxed state.
Speaking of us being relaxed, one of the most important parts of Black culture is:
BLACK SPACES
All over the world Black people are subjected to unfair and racist treatment as a response, sometimes, we need personal space (Blacks only spaces) to be relaxed, speak freely, connect, and heal each other. Black spaces can be physical environments or virtual ones. Respect these times and spaces. We have them not as an attack but for self-care.
OPINIONS
Everyone has an opinion but the ones that matter most are the ones from those who directly relate to the topic. Like, Black opinions on Asian rights shouldn’t hold as much weight as an actual Asian person because they live that life every single day.
I’m not trying to say that your opinion doesn’t matter at all because it does. In order to truly solve problems and think critically, all perspectives must matter. It’s just not going to hold nearly as much weight as those who live life through that perspective.
So, when it comes to Black issues, it’s not your place to tell us what we should and shouldn’t do or give your unsolicited advice. Though, you can humbly make suggestions (when asked) or in a forum for discussion. Which brings me to the next point:
BE HUMBLE
The quality of being humble is to have or show a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.
But maybe you’ve immersed yourself in Black culture and are celebrated in your Black social groups. Still, regardless of how much you’ve done for our community or your intentions, that will not get you into Black spaces and your opinions will not hold more weight than a Black perspective on Black issues.
Without humility you can be; an ally, friend, acquaintance, or donor and still be perceived as a problem to our community.
OBSERVE
The best way to learn about Black culture and mannerisms is to observe it. But unlike other cultures, you should not observe and copy what we do unless you were actually raised that way. If you’re new to Black culture and start wearing Black clothes and using our mannerisms, you can offend someone or you’ll just look silly. Be yourself. You’re probably really cool.
DON’T STARE
Black people all over the world are subjected to racist behavior so we will not know if you’re learning, admiring or being racist. Observing is looking for a short period of time. Staring is looking for an extended period of time. In general, it’s considered rude to stare regardless of ethnicity.
DON’T TOUCH THE HAIR
Personal space is important. You should not be touching anyone without their permission. Specifically, do not touch our hair without our permission. Reaching over and touching a Black person’s hair without their consent can make them feel; like a pet, it can emphasize the feeling of being different which can make things awkward, and it encourages conversation about Black hair that they might not want to hear. Just don’t do it.
GAMES
Most Black people know how to play (but are not limited to) spades, basketball, and American football. If you play these games well, you have a good chance of being accepted into Black social groups faster.
DON’T STEREOTYPE
In other cultures, it might be polite to offer someone a food item that they generally eat. In Black America, that’s rude. We don’t appreciate people assuming we like things solely because we are Black. That goes for everything and not just food. Like, don’t assume someone knows how to play basketball just because most of us do. It’s best to get to know someone as an individual and make no assumptions based on race.
DON’T BE RACIST
We are free and have been for a very long time. You will find us and our family members everywhere. So, if you see us (jogging, walking our dogs, wearing a hoodie, eating) in an area that’s not a predominately Black area, don’t assume we’re out of place. We just might live there, be visiting a friend, or even own the place!
If someone is truly a suspicious character and you’re unsure what to do, simply observe and take notes about what’s going on. Either way, It’s always good business to mind your own business.
JOKES
Black people are naturally comedic. I don’t know why, I can only speculate. So, if we make a joke about you, it’s most likely in fun. Try not to get offended. Laugh it off and tell a joke back. If it’s funny, we’ll laugh and you’ll get cool points for that. If you get really good at joking back and forth, you might start a whole “session”. A session is when jokes are made consistently over a period of time. It’s a lot of fun and can even draw a crowd.
APPRECIATION NOT APPROPRIATION
As I mentioned earlier in the guide, you should not copy what we do unless you were actually raised that way. If you’re new to Black culture and start wearing Black clothes and using our mannerisms; you can offend someone, you’ll look silly and it will be perceived as appropriation.
If you want to buy things that reflect Black culture, buy from Black people and Black-owned businesses. If not, you will be supporting a system that oppresses Black communities and end up doing more harm than good. If you find a Black-owned business and buy something you like, it’s best that you wear it at home or around your personal Black social group. For now, just be yourself and appreciate our differences.
APOLOGIZE
Black culture can be tricky. Even if you have a friendly relationship with someone, you might happen to offend them accidently. I remember a time that my friend referred to our mutual friend by a slur but did not realize it was a slur until I told him it was. Things like that can happen but, if you truly care, you will promptly apologize. Admit your ignorance, give your friend space to heal, and learn from the experience. Problems are often opportunities to grow in disguise.
SPEAK UP!
If you’re a tourist and a racist situation is unfolding, I can understand if you don’t want to get involved. But if you call yourself an ally then do something about it. It’s your time to jump into action! Just be aware of the times we don’t need your help.
A clue for times that we don’t need your help is when it involves your opinion. We appreciate your assistance when something racist is unfolding but we don’t generally appreciate help during things like debates. Refer back to the “opinions” section for clarity.
BE POSITIVE
There is still lots of work to be done in Black communities and we know. So we don’t appreciate negative outlooks or pessimistic attitudes. We will not appreciate you pointing out flaws within our community. If you have anything pessimistic to say about Black people, it’s apparently your attitude that could use some fixing.
NO POLICE
Black people are often and historically treated unfairly by the police. So, as a general rule, do not call the police without being instructed to or being approved by us. If that’s something you can’t handle, you should not be socializing with Black people- especially in predominately Black communities.
BE PROACTIVE
- There are often protests about unfair treatment and oppressive establishments. Check out what kinds of events are happening in your local area and join in!
- Learn more about Black people.
- Donate when you can.
- Buy and sell Black.
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